July 9th Entry Fifty-Six

I've gotten good at hideing away the pain again.
my ribs. these bruises, Aoi healed a bit of them while I was back at work.

though I was called back to the Sector 2 hotel.
Ed being injured...this guy...Piqin.

I actually wanted to meet him. not for revenge...Ed and Kai can have that.
I'm curious. from what they have said about him, he can get under your skin with a flick of his finger. It leaves me wondering if he can mentally destroy parts of your head as well as mess with them and implant thoughts...I am probably thinking too far ahead. if he came from the asylum as Kai said, then it is to be asumed he is unstable. I'll keep my interest under the radar of Kai and Ed, they know what an unhealthy obssession I had with Souma and i'm sure if they knew of this interest they'd want to snuf it out in an instant...."For my own safety" I'd understand...and if they ask I don't plan to keep it from them...not like last time...but for now it is a quiet waiting game.

I'll stick close...and keep my cellphone on...
i'm all they have left....huh?

....I don't understand....
no matter how much I fake like i'm mature..i'm...so put together...
when it falls apart...I just can't understand these gestures....these relationships..

I act like an actress would.
baseing my replies and actions off movies and what I read in books.

...it's only when I lose it...it feels like me.
the me I left behind. I don't need to know who I am.

I'm perfectly fine being something that doesn't exist.
it's in that place I can help Ed and Kai....
I wont lose it again.
I can't lose it again.