[pen marks are a little shakier then usual]

Of course it would snow today. in the middle of.....geeze.

and I really enjoyed summer too...even for how damn hot it was.
now I can't let my scars air except on my face...unless I want to train in the cold...i'll have to bundle up more..I'm freezing to the bone even in a damn sweater!
doesn't matter where I am...just the luck of being me. I'll be incredibly lucky if my lips don't frost over.

I hope Kai gets back to me soon regarding watching the bar.
....damnit if he's died...I'm just gonna freeze to death just to haunt him into the afterlife with my inconsistant nagging.

Longing is a funny thing.
when you think your tough enough to live without the object of your curiosity...
the nagging feeling comes around again.

looks like i'll be sleeping with Yulia again tonight on her sympathy.
or is it pity? I can't tell the difference anymore.

Sounds like they're haveing some sort of shindig over at the Raver club near ShinRa tower. I hear trucks I see people...fighters with biceps ten times the size of my skull.

enjoying a smoke and writeing the half hour before I have to get to work at the bar.
these months have been nothing but work. minimal contact with Kai and Ed. they've both been busy I feel assured. nothing beats disapointment like work. or working out.

as much as I'd like to think i'm doing the right thing. I have no goals in sight.
except to keep "her" existance as secret as possible. she seems alright...normal growth. she's eating. no breathing troubles. her legs are a little odd. but they should normal out as she gets older.

I'm smoking far too much these days....but I really don't care.
need to just take my mind off everything.