May 18th Entry Fourty-Two
Posted by Frostie
Kai overdid himself again...burns on his bandages...collapsed outside of the inner city..it reminded me of when I traveled with him...if he came down with a cold or feaver that made him immobile I'd care for him. albiet sometimes carry him to the nearest doctor and learn how to help him...
watching him sleep now...
makes me long for those days again to travel with him...to understand him more...
He knows as much about me as he wishes to.
I know little about him...aside from the watch he carries with him.
it must be of great value to him.
I ended up doing the same thing I did more then a year ago...sent a paper lantern out to sea to be forgiven....though I know I wont.
it's selfish to want to be near and yet so far from someone...
I don't want Kai to be hurt, I don't want him to be angry at me.
....he wants me to hold onto my own humanity to help him....
..but it's my humanity that's hurting me the most..
what I wouldn't give for that oblivion of never knowing that I'd wake up to hurt someone....
[a line goes down the page indicating she might've fallen asleep while writeing this]