April 23 Entry Eighty-Nine

A year ago. in captivity I met a stringy old man, he would not give information about his clients to who was threatening him so he was captured same as I was for searching for specific information.

he was a tattoo artist, that specialized in inking those among the ranks of the Wutian military, and gangsters alike. the difference is his tattooing method takes months if not years due to the process. I know little about it other than it is painful, and requires dedication and strength to have it finished.

when we were set free, and I was working for Force as a delivery-boy from his mother's store-room in Kalm, I had asked the old man out of a place of hatred and revenge to tattoo me as if I was the same he would normally set ink to, all he said was "No".

thinking back on that moment sitting in pain and agony, covered in bandages to hide away burns covering me head to toe, barely a husk of a person. I understood after a while why he said no, but it wasn't until these weeks came that I really took thought into it, I had nothing, in my captivity there were many I told small stories to, this tattoo artist was one of them, he knew I came from a place of emptiness. of nothingness. only knowing what was forced upon me. and not searching for anything else, I had no valor, no honor, nothing to defend, nothing I cared about except a ghost of a thought. I gave up everything to find her.

and that was the vice of what he said "No" for. I left everything I had to search for something invisible, non-existent from how I said.

I visited him yesterday evening in his small apartment over his parlor. I conversed with him over tea, he was adjusting well, but seemed more interested in what he had heard I was doing. I told him that I wouldn't give up my search. but I wouldn't give up my family. he gave me an envelope when I left and told me to open it when I returned home.

"Return at this date and we will begin, return again at this date the next month and we will continue until finished" was what it read.

It's time to move beyond being a frightened child attacking everything in sight.

time to let the fun begin.