April 3rd Entry Twenty Seven
Posted by Frostie
[Scrawled notes all over]
This is getting out of hand...
..I need to get a new syringe...a new vial..same drug...
same as the one Kai smashed...
..withdrawl is getting worse and worse....
every time I look around a corner..I see..a glimmer of someone I knew...
when I turn around something's behind me....
...it gets dark...so I can only see them....it wasn't so bad before the withdrawl...
..now it's everywhere...I can't face them.
Souma...Zephyr...Tao...No-Name...Kain..Esune...Freyja....my..mom...
the cries of children.....these faces....these bodies...these sounds....keep haunting me...
..even in the apartment....I was so scared I locked myself in the bathroom because I couldn't stop throwing up and crying..this isn't a part of being pregnant...I know that much....I couldn't even reach my phone outside of the room until I woke up this morning....
....just wait...
..be patient.......
....I promise....i'll...avenge you....
...so stop it.....don't follow me anymore...
...please.
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[Further down there's a bit more writeing
seems more solidified]
My bar regulars are weird...
Had a shot..I think i'm okay now...still a little bit of visionary problems.
seems a...fruity guy and ...I dunno it looked like an MP but the armor was black..
I don't know who those are...
then Sen, a MP Cadet who's become a regular, walked in and gave me a copy of Loveless...it's a book of Poems...I..guess we talked a bit before about it. I don't really ever have time to go see a movie..or do stuff like that...
last thing I did on free time was go with my step-brothers to the arcade and helped them win a couple of those weird SOLDIER dolls..or action figures as they complained back...Got Kira and Sin since those were their favorites, Lau keeps discourageing me against encourageing their fanboying. but the best I can do is try to hold them back from running to the front Desk of ShinRa tower asking to see a SOLDIER 1st class or some bullshit.
back onto Sen....I may have to be concerned. I've got another stalker...or so it looks, someone who wants to know more about me the more I tell him to go away. hard enough not to laugh at the guy...almost took him up on the offer. but every moment I have to spare is working on those suits...and keeping close eye on as much information as I can get....about Souma....
it...hurt to talk so frankly with a regular customer...maybe it's just a side effect of the drugs...I just like to keep people at arms length...means they can't hurt me and I can't hurt them.
...on top of that...I remembered a dream I had...after being scared sick...
we were on the landing strip...helmets everywhere...dead bodies...everywhere...
Kai was...standing at the edge, he was going to fall off....he fell...I ran but the strip kept getting longer....and longer...
...is this the calm before the storm?