June 3rd Entry Fourty-Seven

I've been sleeping normally for the past couple of days...

and it's driveing me completely insane..

nothing....no voices...no forms appearing out of the shadows...
not even Kai. no disfigured faces of those I love...

....has that part of me finally accepted it's boring when I can't fight back?
the swelling in my right leg and left side has gone down....I got hauled back into the office since Force was pissed off at Aoi threatening to cut off the balls of one of our employees if I wasn't back in the medical bay....

...had alot of the dead skin removed from my torso...burned and charred flesh...
even with two other medics on the cure. it was still someone tearing my skin off.
that was at three in the morning...it's getting close to five thirty PM now...

I told Aoi i just needed time to think...the bar is pretty empty....I don't think the customers think too highly of me comeing in injured to do paperwork...but did I ever really care about what they thought as long as they were outerly content?

....though..thinking back....that rabbit...Ora Xia...even for a pervert....and that video game playing guy at the bar that night....kinda made me feel...happy....I didn't think i'd feel like that after breaking my leg...

...if Souma could see me now she'd be lectureing me...or cheering me on about how many guys are hitting on me...she'd say something wild that's for sure...
...would she?...it's been so long...I can't remember what would be true...and what would just be my impressions....

I'll linger at the bar for a few hours more before heading back...
what would Yuge say if he saw me like this?

....somehow I'd guess he'd sigh roll his eyes and lecture me to hell and back. or just turn and punch a wall and yell at me....

I don't ever want to admit this again...
...it's days like these I want to just go to sleep forever...