November 11th Entry 102

These past few weeks had been incredibly enjoyable,
though I hope the same for Kai.
he's gotten some mobility back but he's still wrought with chest pain.

I have gotten the test results back, but I haven't looked at them;
I'm going to wait until Kai is one hundred percent healed before telling him.

I know he's been irritated that he's had to spend so much downtime,
though I've found it a bit enjoyable just living a regular life..
the huskies don't seem to mind him, then again they've been incredibly lazy since they moved to the apartment. I've been able to work on my cooking agian, Kai's proven it's not a health violation anymore and actually edible, though wouldn't hurt to brush up now and again..

Yesterday I was contacted by someone I did modeling for a few years ago,
I was a bit self concious seeing as how I had lost the rest of my arm...
but they said that was no problem.

This seems just to be alot of fun.

...but i'm wondering if this is really alright?
I think back to when me and Kai first met, frought with dicipline and training, we were made to fight not enjoy life...Kai wants to fight more, and I just..don't know what I want to do anymore, I have a daughter...I might be having Kai's child.
I might just be going back to being just a girl. but at the same time I want to, and don't want to.

I don't know how to put this into proper words,
Kai's asleep now but maybe i'll ask him later if he minded that..i'm doing such weird things, N-Not the pornography stuff I don't do that anymore.

Just...modeling clothes...having fun dancing. doing that stuff.

I want Kai to have fun too, trouble is just finding out what he wants to do.